Turn your eyes now that you’ve seen what your thoughts will do when you throw them into the wide chasm of possibility, and see what you made behind you: a whole universe reflecting back an image of the thoughts you put into it. What does it tell you about you?
Look as far out or as deeply inward as you can, and you’ll find only two things: love of one-self and the rejection thereof.
Everything that we consider evil is a rejection of the idea of the one, that age-old violation of the Golden Rule, to treat others as you would yourself.
You tried to put your own life above the whole. You took more than you needed. You wasted resources. You took advantage. Always seeking more and never feeling full. Consumed, consumed, consumed! Stretching farther, pushing harder. Trying to get when you already have. Even if only in your thoughts, you were cruel, judgmental and selfish, to others and to yourself, attempting to create a differentiation between yourself and the rest.
Because you thought you needed more, believed you were lacking. I know. It’s a hard line to walk to be one-self, and realize that there’s no amount of taking that will give you enough to make one-self.
All life and all things hang in a single balance. They flow together back and forth, like the cycling of the tide. Together, they ride an eternal wave. Resisting it will create a tourniquet around life, stemming back the flow. Tie it tighter and leave it on long enough, and the limb eventually turns black and dies.
You caused a lot of harm this way, and that realization slices through your flesh, flaying you open right down to the core. The fresh air over the raw, bleeding wound stings, throbs and aches. You cringe back. However, as Carl Jung put it:
There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own Soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.
Don’t confuse consciousness with suffering, though, dear one. Pain has a purpose, and it’s this: to bring that shadow to light and wake you from the sleep of unconscious suffering you created in yourself and the world around you. Then, and only then, could you ever hope to find what you were looking for, and finally realizing it, change.
It’s all already in you and all around you.